joanne: in my own words

Let me sing a song for you,
Please sit and listen to the tune,
This ain't no song of greatness,
But only a voice of a girl,
Singing about her world.

So let me sing a song for you,
Please please please, do listen to the tune,
All I wish is for you to hear me,
As I sing about my days,
Now sing with me if you may.

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Life's Little Pleasures

Every day, we go through life, focusing on the big things: work, house, car, marriage, relationship, children's education, bills, money, health etc. And what's more, we sometimes spend more than half of our time worrying about those things. 

Have we forgotten about the small things in life? Just because they are small or trivial doesn't mean they are insignificant and therefore, don't deserve our attention. Little did we realize that these small things in life are capable of putting a smile on our faces. Yes, the ordinary, simple and not unusual things which we shall call as life's little pleasures.

Yesterday, while waiting for my turn to see the doctor in the hospital, I came across an article on Reader's Digest Asia, discussing about life's little pleasures of readers, businesspeople and famous names around the world. Personally, I found the article to be enlightening for me. For a very long time (and yes, I do mean for a very long time indeed), I have failed to recognize the goodness and positivity that these simple yet fulfilling little things have brought me. Therefore, to ensure that I would always be reminded of these life's little pleasures if ever I would forget them in the future, I am going to pen them down here. However, I do know that the list of my life's little pleasures won't just stop here. I am sure there would definitely be more to come and of course, to write about. In this post, you might identify with some of my life's little pleasures and perhaps, nod at some others, but whatever it is, I hope this read will leave you feeling nostalgic and light-hearted and definitely, a renewed appreciation for life.

25 of my life's little pleasures in no particular order:
  1. The smell of rain - the warm, moist, sandy, musky scent that emits from the wet ground
  2. Fresh beddings - the comforting floral smell from the washing and the clean feeling I get when I sleep on them
  3. The soothing wind that blows on a hot day, evaporating my sweat
  4. The small little sweet words, notes and gifts I get from my most beloved
  5. The kind words my friends give me when I am feeling down
  6. The pretentious innocent look on my dogs' faces when they know they have done something wrong like secretly peeing along the entrance hallway. My anger at them just melts away.
  7. Weekend dinners with close friends to catch up on the latest in life
  8. Days when you have nothing to do but sleep all day
  9. The moment when a favorite song which I have not heard in ages is being played on the radio while I am driving
  10. McDonald's ice cream
  11. A very good not-to-miss deal on or
  12. The moment when I apply mascara onto my lashes without smudging
  13. A hot cup of coffee or chocolate with my most beloved and the chats we have when drinking a cuppa
  14. Waking up in the morning feeling like I have had the greatest sleep ever
  15. The refreshing cold feeling of water running over my feet - waves that roll over my feet as I walk deeper into the sea or the mountain water when I deep my feet into it
  16. The right angle, focus and lighting when I snap a picture
  17. Walking pass a photo of both myself and my beloved only to look at it even more closely and reminisce the moment when we were snapping that photo
  18. Mommy reading my mind and cooking my favorite dishes
  19. Reading an interesting article in a randomly picked-up magazine
  20. Accidentally coming across a beautiful dress or shoes or bags or accessory within my budget
  21. The opportunity to attend events and talking to strangers
  22. Freebies and free samples when I am shopping in a supermarket
  23. Thanking God that it is time to go home when the clock ticks 5.45pm which means the end of a work day for me, especially after a stressful one
  24. The fresh smell of my shampooed hair
  25. The hugs and kisses I get from my beloved every morning
And the list goes on.

I am thankful for these life's little pleasures which most of the time I must admit, go unnoticed by myself. It is true that the combination of these little nice things is what make our lives so wonderful. So don't forget to recognize and acknowledge when one really does happen. We don't have to go far to gain happiness. It is always happening around us, if only we give more attention. 

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Forever & A Day

That afternoon, the clouds hung low and cast a gloomy blue tint in the atmosphere. The air was damp and the ground was wet from the rain. The fields contrasted the dull skies with its fresh green which appeared to be more saturated in the after-showers. Birds were chirping in unison to a semi-melancholic melody.

From a distance, an old white car was approaching, its tires spinning clumsily along the gravel road across the fields, chasing every animal and insect out of the way. The roar of the old car’s engine was the only artificial sound in that natural scene. It became louder and louder as it approached me nearer and nearer. It showed no signs of stopping until it reached the end of the gravel road somewhere down the hill to where I was standing. Finally, the old car stopped, just right in front of me. The engine was still running and the driver, a young man, whose hands were gripping tightly onto the steering wheel, stared blankly into the distance ahead. He held that position for some minutes before finally giving it up by turning off the engine, almost as abruptly as how he stopped his car earlier. And then, the sounds of nature suddenly returned.

As if the ride he endured before this was a bumpy one or perhaps it was, he leaned back towards his seat in a relaxed position and sighed loudly. He sat there quietly inside the car, listening to the pitter-patters of the drizzle against the glass. I walked closer to the car to watch him. Slowly, he wound down the window and stuck out his left palm. Droplets of rain began to gather in his palm. When it became full, he tilted his palm to drain off the water. And then, cupping his left palm again, he repeated to gather more droplets of rain in his palm. Something about his action seemed all too familiar to me. My heart became heavy all of a sudden.

And then, the rain stopped pouring. There was now a soothing cool breeze blowing. He pulled his palm back inside and wound up the window but leaving a small crevice just about big enough for the cool breeze to enter. He turned to look ahead the car. I followed his gaze but I realized that he was not looking at something in particular ahead. A shadow of sadness suddenly settled upon his face. I had never seen such sadness before – the kind that was sadder than ever. Although I had never known this sadness, I could fathom the reason behind it.

Later, he reached into the glove compartment in front of the passenger seat and drew out a small navy blue velvet box. He held it on his right palm in front of his chest. Staring solemnly at the tiny box, he pushed opened the lid with his left thumb. Gleaming beautifully inside the dark-colored box was a bright 2.5 carat diamond ring. At that sight, my heart skipped a beat, I gasped in surprise and in awe but immediately, my heart sank once again. This time, the shadow of sadness had befallen me. I couldn’t endure the pain that was birthing within so I turned away from him. But at the same time, the urge to watch him a little while longer was so strong that I stayed on.

I got inside the car and sat in the passenger seat next to him. He was still gazing at the ring inside the box, but this time, his fingers were tracing the shape of the ring. I looked down to stare at my own fingers and then looked up again just in time to see him snap the box shut! He gripped the box in his left palm, pulling it close to his heart, and wept. With every tear he cried, he channeled out all the sadness and sorrow he felt inside. He wailed loudly in the car, easing out the pain he had been feeling all this time. He knocked his head repeatedly onto the steering wheel, stomped his feet and cried loudly, almost child-like. I felt sorry for him. I wanted so badly to comfort him, to tell him that things would be all right. I wanted so badly to hug him and give him the reassurance he needed. If only I could…

But I, too, however, cried along with him.

After we had both finished crying, he composed himself and calmly, he sat up in his seat, opened the little velvet box and placed it on the dashboard in front of me. The diamond ring was staring innocently back at us. I stole a glance at him and saw that he was focused on the ring atop the dashboard. He drew a deep breath and uttered these words: “I know that you are now gone. I know that you are now in a beautiful place where only fairies and angels like you belong. But these three words I will forever say to you. I Love You. Forever and a day, my love, forever and a day.”

And so, I left to that beautiful place he described where only fairies and angels belonged, knowing in my heart that I will forever and a day be missed and loved by my one and only true love – him.

I love you too. Forever and a day, my love, forever and a day. If only I had the chance to say these words when I was still alive.