now i know how he felt when i spoke about J. when he spoke about L or whenever the L topic came up, my heart twisted in jealousy, pierced with pain. all of a sudden, i felt like i was the 3rd party, just as he had felt whenever the J topic arises.
you may say many things which aren't true about me. but what i know and feel is genuine. you may say that i was fake, though it hurt me a lot, but it's enough for me to know that what i feel or whether i cared or concerned you was real.
i am sorry for how things have turned out. but in my heart, despite of J, there is still only him, Y. you may not notice it and had always thought that all this while, you were sharing places with other people in my heart. but that wasn't true, because up till now, there is only you.