There Will Be Tears but They're Not Gonna Be Mine

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k6fUQfS3SLo

By: Miranda Cosgrove
I don't know what you expected
But me to sit around and beg for you to stay
Can't you see what you've neglected
I don't know what you've been taking
Do I look like I was born just yesterday?
You're the one who will be breaking after all

Cause there will be tears
But they're not gonna be mine
My heart will be clear
And my eyes are staying dry
Because you didn't, you didn't
You wished I'd never go away
I'll just pretend from now
I've got a reason to celebrate
Tears, but they're not gonna be
Not gonna be mine

You'll be begging for a shoulder
You'll be looking for someone to dry your eyes
But you ain't never getting over what we had
And you'll be crying like a baby
Cause you thought you'd be the one to say goodbye
And I hope it drives you crazy, oh yeah

Cause there will be tears
But they're not gonna be mine
My heart will be clear
And my eyes are staying dry
Because you didn't, you didn't
You wished I'd never go away
I'll just pretend from now
I've got a reason to celebrate
Tears, but they're not gonna be
Not gonna be mine

You don't know what you got
'Till it goes away, goes away, baby
Anything that you lose
You're the one to blame
One to blame, so save it
Get it, get it can you wish
I'd never go away
I'll just pretend from now
I've got a reason to celebrate
There will be tears, oh yeah
But they're not gonna be mine

Cause there will be tears
But they're not gonna be mine
My heart will be clear
And my eyes are staying dry
Because you didn't, you didn't
You wished I'd never go away
I'll just pretend from now
I've got a reason to celebrate
Tears, but they're not gonna be
Not gonna be mine

Beautiful Things I've Seen, Heard, Tasted, Smelled and Felt...

... like the early morning dew that formed on the petals of the white lilies.

... like the clouds of mist that spirited across the green fields at the break of dawn.

... like the innocent child who made the grown man cry.

... like the old couple who still adored and loved one another immensely.

... like the joyful smile on the faces of the parents when they witnessed their baby's first step.

... like the sweet taste of candy floss which melted in my mouth.

... like the long lost son who reunited with his family.

... like the sweet melody of the leaves of the trees which rustled in the wind.

... like the sight of white bubbly waves, rolling into the beach.

... like the big brown dog which saved the little kittens.

... like the tears shed by the father when giving away his daughter's hands to her husband-to-be on her wedding day.

... like the feeling of fresh mountain water which flowed under my feet.

... like the Moon which shined luminously in the dark sky above.

... like the pianist at the far end of the hall, playing a melancholic melody.

... like the toothless but contented grin of the homeless old woman who lived under the bridge.

... like the first bloom of cherry blossoms which announced the arrival of Spring.

... like the voice of the lover when he said "I Love You" to her. The whole world just stopped and it was the most beautiful moment ever.

The Aftermath - A Season to Love Again

When she thought that she could not go on living, you gave her a reason to live her life again.
Thank you. I'm happy leading my own life again. It's fabulous because of you.
When she felt cold and lonely, you shared with her your warmth.
Thank you. Your warmth is my companion.
When she sat at a corner feeling sad, you gave her your laughter.
Thank you. Your laughter is the best medicine.
When she was bored, you entertained her.
Thank you. You're a great entertainer.
When she needed a hug, you were always there to hold her.
Thank you. Your hug meant a lot to me.
When she was scared, you gave her courage.
Thank you. I shall not be afraid when I'm with you.
When she lost all faith in love, you reinvented the meaning of it and showed her what it was like to love and be loved again.
Thank you. It's a season to love again.

Sick No More

The Sun shone forcefully that very morning, with every effort to produce the brightest rays he could manage. Yet, the heat which came with his rays were not harsh but subtle, as if to give way for something good to happen.

The Wind did her part as well to welcome the good that was expected to come. She blew her best breeze, gentle and soothing, across the green fields to the top of the hill where the house of a sick girl stood.

The girl had been sick for months. But like The Sun and The Wind had anticipated, something good was about to happen soon. And so, they let Time take his course and do his magic.

And true enough, Time had done it once more in proving his power to heal the sick. With the help of The Sun's blinding rays, the sick girl's eyes were reopened, her eyelashes fluttered to life all of a sudden. The Wind also contributed; she blew her gentle soothing breeze into the girl's nostrils and resurrected her body to life.

The girl lunged-in a deep breath and sat up immediately. As if unsure of her surroundings or what to do next, she looked around frantically for help. Fortunately, she was comforted by the sight of her companions who had been sitting, waiting and praying fervently all along by her bedside since she fell sick. Their faithfulness and patience inspired her to move on, to carry on with life and to start anew, though knowing deep down that she was still going through a period of post-sickness - the painful after-effects were still felt immensely.

Hatred: certainly not something she would want to live with for the rest of her life. It is definitely going to take ages to completely erase the painful reminisce of her sickness which was caused by someone... or rather, more specifically two people.

And yet, despite the existence of this hatred, there is also a zest for life; she will continue to live her life to the fullest, not just for herself, but also for the people around her now - for the people who still love her, who appreciate her for who she is, the people who would never take her for granted or hurt her.

She will not allow you to break her for she is stronger now - strong enough to make your life the same fate she just escaped from. She just wants to thank you for making, pushing and forcing her to be this way towards you. But then again, know this. There is still room for forgiveness in her heart for you... only and only if you ask for it.

You left her to love again. 

And to love another even more for she still has lots of love left on the inside, which was once upon a time reserved for you, to give away to another who deserves it more.

Therefore, today, that sick girl is sick no more.

bits of emotions here and there

CHEATED.

ABUSED.

UNAPPRECIATED.

CONDEMNED.

TRASH.

UNCARED.

UNWANTED.

WASTED.

Hope you're happy now.

she feels Paradise

she opens the window and looks out into the space before her.

her eyes wander to as far as the green field stretches into the horizon, where the Sun was just beginning to present himself.

sparrows, sitting in pairs on the branches of the oak trees, as if like a choir, sing to a common soothing melody to her ears.

the smell of sweet lavenders fills her nostrils and the refreshing air of dawn fills her lungs.

and so, she feels Paradise.

while she continues to stand by the window, it suddenly occurs to her that she has not been feeling this way for a very long time.

before today, Sadness, Bitterness, Sorrow and Pain seemed to be her only friends.

but it is all going to change today...

because she feels Paradise.

today is promising.

her new friends are now Love, Joy and Peace.

she is happy being with them and doesn't want to trade them for anything in the world now.

she has crossed that hurdle of suffering and is now free from all sickness and pain.

she has come to a place where there is no more worries but only smiles...

as she feels Paradise.

her soul is left wandering in the green pasture afar.

old bitter memories are now no more.

sickness and pain are now history.

when today comes, it is...

when she feels Paradise.

7.30am

she turns to the clock by her bedside - 7.30am. the sun rays are beginning to creep through the crevices of her bedroom curtains. she shields her eyes from the blinding sunlight, turns towards her mobile phone, peeks at it with half-opened eyes - no messages, no missed calls and lastly, she heaves a long sigh.


her head feels like someone is inside it, knocking on the walls of her head. she knows there's nothing much she could do about it except to face the pain bravely. come a new morning, she wishes the pain would suddenly disappear. but it never does. it keeps knocking and knocking inside, hollowness follows. even if it does not stop, could there be someone she could at least share this burden with?


no one.


she is too afraid to tell, too afraid that others might suspect and too afraid that he will know the truth. she only wants this to pass by and be gone. would it be better if she just end her life? then all pain and sorrows would be gone?


she is unsure.


if she tells him the truth, how is he going to face it? can he stand the truth? what would his reaction be? how would he feel? how is he going to live his life after her life? or perhaps rather, he simply doesn't care if she dies?


so many questions.


but no answers.


it's better this way, she thinks, that he must not know the truth. it doesn't really matter anyway that he does not know the truth, because what is most important now is that he is still talking to her even though there are times when he is mean and cold and conversations turn into arguments. but she doesn't care -  as long as they are still talking to one another. she only wants to spend as much as possible of her only time left in this world with him - that is what matters the most to her now.


but does he know this?


so every morning at 7.30am, when she wakes up, tears form in her eyes.